Reflection on Second Year (2025)
On reflection, I have found that the journey of this year feels best represented by these three tarot cards:
- Tower
- Death
- Temperance
I am going to attempt to backfill the projects from this year, to the best of my memory, but here are my reflections on this bizarre year has gone.
Derailment (Tower)
It is currently mid-December, and my last post here was in late April. It’s not that I haven’t been working on stuff, I’ve just been too busy working on stuff to keep posting to this site. I will need to figure out something to do differently for next year; I would like to keep maintaining this project.
The primary reason for the derailment is the health issues I had back in January. That has become such a prominent feature of this year that I’ve decided to make it a work in and of itself. I will cover the details in that work more specifically, but from around April until around August I was completely unmedicated and barely functioning.
The derailment isn’t just this project.
EVERYTHING got derailed.
I’ve made some pretty significant life changes as a result, things are improving and I am hopeful they will continue to improve.
The Tower signifies sudden, chaotic, and often destructive upheaval, representing the shattering of false beliefs, illusions, and rigid structures through an unexpected event, like a lightning strike, to force radical change and spiritual awakening. While it feels like disaster, it’s ultimately a liberating force, clearing the way for authentic growth by destroying what no longer serves you, leading to a powerful, if painful, transformation and a chance to rebuild on solid ground.
Change (Death)
Outside of those changes, other things are also changing. My son started college. My daughter is in the midst of her teenage exploration. The country I live in is doing a lot of weird and unsettling stuff. The bar where I was throwing the AFTIES events is closing next week (after 9 years!). I stepped down from my semi-official position at Stillfleet Studio (this was one of the casualties of me shutting down everything after the health crisis in January).
Things have ended, other things have begun. Some began and ended this year.
There has been a lot of flux. This has been a year of change.
Death symbolizes profound transformation, endings, and new beginnings, representing the necessary shedding of old patterns, beliefs, or situations to allow for growth and rebirth, rarely indicating physical death but rather major life transitions like job changes or relationship shifts, urging acceptance of impermanence and embracing change. It signifies closing a chapter to open another, bringing about a powerful cleansing and renewal after a period of letting go, much like the phoenix rising.
Recovery (Temperance)
There is an odd peace amidst absolute chaos. A lot of the fear and anxiety around change or upheaval is in the mystery of what will happen when things are destabilized. When everything is in upheaval and you feel ungrounded, you’re already in motion – I’m already in the mosh pit, getting knocked around, so an additional person jumping in the pit knocking me around isn’t really surprising.
In the movie Forrest Gump, there’s a scene where Lt. Dan (played by Gary Sinise) is strapped to his ship during a particularly heavy hurricane. His character had lost his legs in Viet Nam, and the storm, which threatened he and Forrest’s shipping company, felt like a literal “when it rains, it pours” moment. There’s a part of that storm scene where he is being pelted by torrential rain, shouting “You call this a storm?”
I’m not one to tempt fate, so I don’t feel as though I’m being quite that defiant, but I feel some kinship with that experience of “well we’re in the shit now!” Things can get worse, and they can get better.
There’s that Chinese Proverb about a peasant who is alternately the recipient of bad news (missing horse, son breaking his leg) and good news (horse returned with 2 wild horses, son’s broken leg prevents him from being conscripted) – after each time he says, without affect, “We’ll see.”
Within all of this chaos, I’ve managed to find some semblance of peace.
Perhaps more on the nose of “Temperance”, I’ve been re-balancing how I live my life – adding some more of things that are healthier and trying to do a bit less of things that aren’t so healthy.
Temperance signifies balance, moderation, patience, and harmony, urging you to find a middle path, blend opposing forces, manage your energy, and maintain calm amidst chaos, representing a journey towards inner peace, spiritual alignment, and effective self-management. It’s a call to blend your inner world with the outer, adapt gracefully, avoid extremes, and trust your intuition to create flow and stability, leading to healing and clear purpose, often depicted as an angel mixing liquids between two cups.